Precious life

I feel so blessed that God has given this to me to love and enjoy. One of our friends has just passed away from cancer at the age of 42. He was the father of two sweet kids, Andrew and Allison's ages. Witnessing the end of his life has made me think differently. It has made me want to do the things I want to do. I want to be spontaneous, yet want to plan for the future. I want to eat a triple scoop of ice cream, yet I want to eat healthy so I can live a long life. I want to play with my kids in the backyard, yet I also need to do my homework for school so I can be a good influence on them. I want to spend our money to do the things we keep saying we should do, yet I want to save for a rainy day.  There is this tug and pull that I am trying to learn how to keep steady. It's not easy. After watching Brandon pass away, I am leaning more towards being spontaneous, eating that ice cream, playing with my kids and spending our money.
I am thankful to hold my husband's warm body, listen to his heart beat, and touch is skin. I am blessed. I am happy.