Last night as we were leaving the resturant, we saw a beautiful sunset. Andrew pointed to the sky and said "The sunset used to be in my heart" and then he put his hand on his heart. This kid is special!

Negative nelly

I was running a few weeks ago and pushing Allison in the stroller and some homeless lady yelled at me "ya know anyone can have a baby!" REALLY? Why did you have to say that exact comment to ME??? Our baby DID NOT have Down's Syndrome. The chromosomes grew normal from Angel and from my placenta. Dr. Illeck suggested doing blood work on me to determine if I have a clotting problem. I did the test and it was negative. A lady at work was talking to me about a fellow nurse who is pregnant. She explained that she is going to start telling people because she is past the "miscarriage phase" of pregnancy. I BIT my tongue not to say, "well did you know babies can die at any point during the pregnancy and even sometimes shortly after they are born?" If I chose to have another baby, will I be able to love him or her for who they are, or will I be secretly wishing it is Angel in my tummy, not the new life? In a quiet moment of the day, will it ever be possible to think about something besides the hell I went through in February? Will I ever be that happy person I used to be?

oh andrew

I went for a run today, pushing Andrew and Allison in the stroller. The entire time Andrew asks me questions. He saw a man doing squats and asked me, "mommy, what is that man doing?" I replied "Andrew, he is exercising". Andrew said "no he's not mommy, he is trying to sit down, but can't" I laughed and said "ohh Andrew!"