Big kids go to the dentist

Well I finally managed to make the appointment and get both kids in to see the dentist. I am not exactly why I waited until I had three kids to do it, but oh well, it made things a bit more tricky. As I was filling out paperwork in the waiting room, Ashely started crying, the lady waiting next to us was offering me advise on what might be wrong with her (thank you weird stranger for letting me know what is wrong with my baby), Allison is asking me to read her a book and Andrew wants to color. Just when I get Ashely out of the car seat and starting to breastfeed, they call Allison's name and she starts to cry. I asked if they can take Andrew first so I can finish filling out the papers, feed Ashely and then go back with Allison. They agreed to my brilliant plan and off Andrew went like such a brave big boy. Once I am done multi-tasking, I go back to see Andrew. They have already completed his x-rays and he was laying on this huge chair watching cartoons on the flat screen TV right above him. He told me that they took pictures of his teeth. The dentist then tells me that they found a cavity!!! I was so bummed! It just makes me feel like an awful mother, like I don't have my kids brush their teeth like they should, or I just let them eat candy for dinner, and anyone who really knows me, knows that is not me at all.

Anyways I agree to have them fill his cavity today and then I go in Allison's room. She flat out refused to do the x-rays, so they agreed that all she really needed at this age is a cleaning and exam. She started crying at first and was not too happy. From across the hallway, Andrew got up on his knees in his chair and yelled out "It's ok Allison, it doesn't hurt at all, just be brave". It was pretty cute. Once Allison is calm and ok with the dentist cleaning her teeth I went over to check on Andrew and they already finished filling his cavity! I was so surprised they did it so quickly and Andrew had no complaints! All he kept saying was how brave he was.

I can't believe they both did such a great job, they are growing up so quickly, I just want to enjoy and remember every moment.

Welcome to the World Ashley Marie

Well the day has finally come! We welcomed Ashley Marie to the world on January 18th 2012. We showed up at the hospital bright and early for my scheduled C-section. Waiting for us was both sets of grandparents with cameras flashing, it was as if we were on the red carpet and they were the Paparazzi. The first thing we did was deliver the books that we purchased in memory of Angel. We collected enough money to buy over 200 books to donate to the labor and delivery unit. The books were called "We Were Gonna Have a Baby, but We Had An Angel Instead". It was a great way to bring closure and meaning to Angel's life and help us start out Ashley's life.

We checked into Pre-op and gowned up. Paul was way too tall for his little outfit, but he managed to squeeze into just fine. I was a nervous wreck in the Operating room. They took me in there by myself to start the epidural. I was shaking and had a hard time trying not to be too emotional. The staff were all very nice and understanding. Once I was numbed up, Paul was brought in and Dr. Illeck started the surgery. I was pretty convinced that my legs kept falling off the table, Paul and the anesthesiologist kept reassuring me that they were in fact up on the table where they should be. It is such a weird feeling being completely numb but feeling the pressure of them manipulating my body and pulling the baby out. It was so uncomfortable and it took my breath away when they had to push her down from under my lungs. With a lot of effort, Ashley Marie was born weighing 7 pounds and 5 ounces. The anesthesiologist held up a mirror so I could see them taking her out of me. All I remember seeing was a white little thing and thinking to myself "OK it is really confirmed, she is a girl!" I don't know why I thought that. I never had any doubts that she was going to be a boy. It seemed like forever for them to bring her over to me. I instantly had a rush of happy hormones and I kept kissing her over and over again.

In the recovery room my arms were aching to hold her. Paul handed her to me and my heart melted. She was so beautiful. My first thought was she looked nothing like Allison, but looked an awful lot like Andrew when he was an infant. She immediately wanted to nurse and latched on right away. Once again my happy hormones were making me float on air, or maybe it was the dilaudid :)

We were able to have our "golden hour" with her. It is an hour of bonding uninterrupted time for just Paul and I. We investigated her little body, played with her little white fingers and explored her belly button and full head of hair. Paul asked the nurse if I was allowed to wear my jewelry now, she said yes, and he pulled out a wooden box with a diamond ring in it. I love that man! Not only was I holding the most perfect baby, but I was rewarded with a sparkly.

We fianlly made it to our room, not ocean view, but once again the happy hormones didn't let me get bothered by anything. It felt like an eternity until the kids and grandparents came up. Andrew and Allison were the first to enter the room. They were immediatly trying to climb up on the bed to meet their little sister. It was so precious and a moment I will never forget. The kisses seemed to never stop. The grandmas were crying and I was in heaven. Andrew and Allison of course wanted to hold her, which made me a little nervous, but they did just fine with a little help from daddy.

The grandparents all had a turn with her and they she was all mine again to cuddle and feed.

We spent 2 nights in the hospital. The first night, Paul stayed with me and my parents were at our house with the kids. The second night we had our first dinner as a family of 5. They gave us sparking cider and filet mignon. Paul took the kids back to the house and my mom stayed the night with me. We watched Grey's Anatomy and fell asleep for 5 hours! The nurse was really nice and kept checking in on us, but we were tired girls and didn't wake up at all.

We were discharged the next evening. Paul picked us up ina beautifully clean car and we picked up Enrique's on the way home. Happy hormones flying the whole time. I am truly blessed.

Ready, Set, Baby!

With only one week left, we are putting together the last few things for the arrival of Ashley Marie. Tonight Paul built Ashley's crib in our bedroom. I feel like I can't even remember putting Allison in this very crib when she was a baby. Wow it was just a few years ago, and now here we are rebuilding it for our second daughter, our third living child. I still can't believe Paul and I are parents, I still see us as the couple living in E building at CSULB. I used to dream about being a mom, and couldn't wait to be pregnant and hold a baby of my own. And now I am living in it, I am in it, fully submerged in my childhood dream. How lucky am I? As difficult as our last year has been with losing Angel, I believe that God has big plans for our Ashley Marie, why else would He go to such extremes to take away our son? She truly has purpose here on Earth, and Angel has purpose up in Heaven. I know he will always look over our family.

When I look at Andrew, I am so proud that he is my son. He melts my heart with how soft, gentle and loving he is. At such a young age he is already understanding others feelings and the importance of being kind, truly kind. He is an old soul, and loves so big. One of my favorite things he does is when Allison is upset or hurt, he runs into her room and gets her Tinker Bell doll and gives it to Allison to make her feel better. He genuinely cares about others feelings.

My little Allison, oh what a personality. She is the spark in this family. She keeps us laughing, and on our toes. I have never seen a kid fall so many times! She is energetic, fun-loving and oh so sweet! She wants to be a mommy so badly. She enjoys wrapping her baby dolls in blankets and feeding them bottles. To say she is independent is an understatement. She knows what she wants and that is all there is to it. She idolizes her brother and loves to play transformers with him. Her laughter fills up a room and her happiness is contagious.
With such fantastic children already, I am so excited to meet Ashley Marie and get to know who this little person is going to become. I already know that she has great purpose, and she is one lucky girl to be born into such an amazing family, and we too are very lucky to welcome her into our wonderful life.