Allison's Conversations

So in an attempt to get back in shape and to loose some of this baby weight, I started walking again. Last week I walked 4 days, about 3 1/2-4 miles each day. This week I kicked it up a notch and started running. I ran 4 days this week and walked one. Since Andrew is in preschool 3 days a week, that just leaves me and Allie alone for 40 minutes on the running path and this is what I hear during that time...

Lulu birthday, lulu birthday, lulu birthday, lulu birthday, papa, nama (aka grandma) matthew, papa, nama, papa, nama, juju drink in there, trisha baby trisha baby trisha baby trisha baby, tracktor broken fix it batteries, Andrew preschool Ms. Cori Paul preschool, daddy work, Andrew car seat, get it.

Then when I go up a hill she says "big hill, big hill, big, hill, big hill". Then I go down the hill and she says "WEEEEEE!"

She never fails me, she is always entertaining.

This week she is really pushing my buttons. She constantly throws her food or spits it out of her mouth or jumps on my bed, or climbs in her crib and falls out, and gets into the snack drawer to help herself to some pre-dinner crackers, hits her brother, hits me, hits Liberty, climbs in the bathtub, empties all of her clothes out of her drawers, takes her diaper off, dumps buckets of sand in the house, screams at the top of her lungs "NOOOO!!" for no reason, and my favorite she put her baby doll in time out. She is overall a little stinker! The problem is that he is so ridiculously cute when she is doing all of that!

But she redeems herself when she kisses me on the lips, then on the nose, then on the forehead, then on each cheek, then on each eye, then on each ear, and then on my hair. She also melts my heart when she rubs her little soft hand on my cheek and says "Ahhhh" in a little baby voice. Then she feeds her baby doll fake food and gives her a drink from the pretend bottle and then she puts Andrew's socks on, and then she puts my socks on and then she puts on daddy's shoes and walks around. Then one of my favorites is when she "cooks" us food in her playhouse, and unsets her dinner dishes.

She is such a mighty sweet little girl and brings me so much joy to my day. I am so happy to have a daughter and a friend for life.

Angel Demboski's Memorial

Today we had a balloon memorial for Angel. My parents and Paul's parents came over early this morning for brunch. We cooked peiroges, eggs, cinnamon rolls, yogurt, fruit and juice. We had a wonderful time talking and laughing over brunch. It was nice to have our parents together to remember their grandson and to be happy. After we ate, we got our balloons ready. Andrew and Allison drew pictures for Angel, and the rest of us wrote a letter to him. We each attached our paper to a balloon. Once we were all ready, we went outside. It was a spectacularly clear and gorgeous day. The sky was bright blue with big fluffy while clouds. The sun was shinning, the kids were happy and there were no tears. We let the balloons fly up to heaven. It was nice to see Andrew excited about our baby getting the balloon and his picture up in heaven. I feel like it all made sense to him, which was really important to us. Allison kept saying "laboom" instead of balloon which was the cutest thing I think she has ever said. She would say "laboom, angel, heaven". It made my heart proud that my kids are getting to understand God and heaven. We watched the balloons fly up as high as possible until we were no longer able to see them anymore.
We then enjoyed laughing at both Papas playing with the kids. We all played in the backyard for hours. Allison and Andrew were digging for worms and both papas were being extra silly.

I am so happy that we did this. It really felt like closure, it needed to happen.

Later that day I showed our parents the memory box that he hospital gave us with the tiny hand and foot prints. They were amazed, just like we were.

Paul and I have been attending a support group for perinatal and infant loss. It has really helped. Ours is just one of many sad stories, and our little boy is one of many babies that lost their life too soon.